天美麻豆

@Cheryl

An excellent prompt, Cheryl, thank you!

Have you found it easy to connect with fellow expats or locals in the Philippines? Why or why not?

First, I would say that I have been blessed to meet a beautiful woman here and all other relationships pale in comparison to the joy I find in my relationship with my girlfriend/partner.

With regard to other friendships/connections, I wouldn't say it's easy, but then I am not super outgoing.聽 I have had some success connecting with fellow expats, but it is primarily because many expats stay or live in my condominium complex in Lapu-Lapu City.聽 I met one guy who subsequently introduced me to others.聽 I currently enjoy a weekly coffee time at a local coffee shop with these guys.聽 I really look forward to that time!聽 I wish that a few more people would join the group and I wish that we met more frequently.

Have you noticed cultural differences in the way people make friends or share personal matters?

I haven't noticed any cultural differences.聽 I feel like maybe some expats are more private and reserved.聽 I have my theories as to why that is so, but I will keep those to myself.

I am just very comfortable being myself when I meet someone new.聽 If we hit it off, that's great, and if we don't I move on.聽 Everyone has different interests, but we are all human.聽 I try to find ways to connect on the human level.聽 I must say one of the greatest benefits to these associations is problem-solving together when encountering the inevitable difficulties that arise with living in a foreign country.

Since moving to the Philippines, how have your friendships back home evolved? Do you ever feel 鈥渙ut of sync鈥� with friends and family in your home country?

I am just thankful for the amazing technology that we have.聽 I just recently returned from a trip to the U.S. and I now enjoy a weekly video call with my brothers there.聽 I look forward to the calls and hope they will continue.

On the flip side, I do feel a little out-of-sync with my adult children.聽 They haven't been interested in a regular, scheduled video call and I miss seeing their faces and hearing their voices.

How do you deal with the temporary nature of many expat friendships when people (or you) eventually move on?

I spent time in the military and I'm comfortable with the temporary nature of friendships.聽 I just practice gratitude for these seasons of fellowship and hold these people in my heart.聽 I like this excerpt from a poem by Lord Byron:

"If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?--

With silence and tears."

Have you changed the way you approach relationships since becoming an expat?

No, not really.聽 I just go through life being myself.聽 I'm fortunate because I am an introvert and enjoy spending lots of time by myself.聽 But I do treasure my friendships and my social time.

What has been your biggest challenge in building or maintaining friendships in the Philippines? Any advice to share?

I think my biggest challenge has been knowing how to meet local people and move beyond casual commercial or service interactions to something more.聽

I'm sorry I don't really have any advice to share.聽 I will look forward to reading the reflections of my fellow expats.