天美麻豆

@mpiovarcsikw So?

his is a very hard email to write. I am an American citizen who recently became to a Moroccan. I met him on line on an Arab dating app. I was looking or marriage and so was he. He proposed fast now I find myself engaged and having a wedding ceremony in a few weeks. I care about this man and he says he is deeply in love with me. Though I would welcome the opportunity to live in Morocco after marriage he would like to come here and then possibly move back to Morocco in some years. I have a question. He has told me he retired from the military in March of this year. He actually left the military after 10 years because of its challenges. He has said to me he will get close to a 4000 dollar payment from them soon. I don't know if this is true. I'm confused because he does not have a job. I know work is hard to find in Khemisset. I am to fly out in less than four weeks for marriage. I don't know if this is a set up. I know Morocco is safe but is there a risk of something not safe. I have met his family online video. Please your insight would be greatly appreciated. He also said that this first time he does not want to go and visit other cities while I'm here. That he just doesn't feel comfortable. Any insight would be appreciated. He has asked how we can get immigration very fast he also asked a friend who is back from America on advice about the interview for immigration. This man thinks he so good looking and that his clothes are so nice that other's envy him. The other thing is that certain times during the day every day his phone goes off or he does not have internet. He says this is because of bad wifi. He goes to the cafe everyday. Mean while he has not looked for a job because he wants to spend his time on the phone with me. I feel like he's trying to lead me into trusting everything he says. He also is becoming more controlling ...I do not want to make a mistake so I would like to get honest insight good and bad. Thank you.
-@AUDREYMCI

Speaking from experience, dont go this time to marry him. Go to meet him, his family and friends. Red flags to watch for: professes he loves you online and quickly. (They don't, they love what you can give them ) Large age gap, you widowed, divorced, recent convert, him not working (being in military, he shouldn't have a hard time getting work.) Trust me if they want to work they will, even if its something small. Sitting in Cafe all day with his friends (heavy phone use means trolling for women, talking to women is like a job until they snag one willing to marry them, even then a lot of times the trolling continues, needs a back up plan)聽 i am in the far away聽 bush and our internet doesnt go down, if hes in a cafe it never goes down.聽 maybe he has a wife/girlfriend or has to go into home somewhere, and doesnt want to be disturbed? Talking alot and being obsessed with doing the papers and going to America.聽 Doing a lot of research about it.聽 (his friend is lying, they all do this when they go back, make it like they are rich in America, and try to get people to feel jealous) Making promises of a huge wedding, and a lot of travel or a lot of good things in future, home, car, etc. Always in the future, because they wont be there to deliver it.聽 If you cant have children, they need children no matter what they tell you, its almost an obligation, i know men and women from the same village and family who divorce for not getting children and they find someone else to give them children, thats how serious it is to get children. Find out why he's getting this 4000 from military, find out exactly the reason he's no longer there, this story doesn't seem right. It's probably 4000 dh which is 400 us, but my understanding is no one gets out until they retire or get hurt, and even then they continue to take care of them, they dont end their military career(not sure but i dont think they retire after 10 years, I can find our about it, we have a lot of military and bpolice in this family).聽 Google narcissist, see if he's doing anyone of the things they talk about or behaving the way a narcissist does. Narcissism is common in Morocco, almost a societal norm. If he's controlling now trust me it gets way worse when you are beside them and married. If you can afford to I would stay outside of the family home not in it, this way they can't keep you locked up there. Make sure you always have a working phone with you, the local police and gendemdiere phone numbers in your contacts, and at least someone that you can get in touch with in case of an emergency that could help you. Give your address your staying at to a loved one in usa. I would definitely red flag the no going anywhere while your in the country. He should want to show you the beautiful places. Ive n3ver heard of this before. Maybe he just needs you to focus on marrying him because it can take up to a month. I definitely woukd put my foot down on this though, and demand i go somewhere while im on vacation.聽 IThey are probably berber so you should be safe for the most part, just exercisecautionand use your gut if something feels off it usually is.聽 Just don't be bamboozled to believe everything you see is what it is.聽 If you want to stay in Morocco you can stay for 90 days, and go out and come back for another 90 days repeatedly, its pretty easy to pop to spain or europe. You could tell him i will not marry you un5il i stay with you for 6 months. I married stayed for 6 months and truth is now coming out it was all a sham. The last ine was so oatient he waited until he got a passport and then fiked 2 weeks after for divorce. So you see, you never can be too careful. Dont get me wrong i know a lot of beautiful happy endings too. Join some scammer groups and also the groups of love to see both the good and bad of marrying a Moroccan. They are a different breed and take a lot of work, especially if they aren't educated, and know nothing outside of their village. I hope this helps without sounding jaded.

It would appear there are things about this man that make you question what he is saying and doing.

If something doesn鈥檛 feel right, it probably isn鈥檛 right. The internet connection in Morocco is brilliant as is in most other countries so there shouldn鈥檛 be a reason for his phone to be off.

Why not take your time, go see how you feel and don鈥檛 commit to marrying someone on your 1st visit. Then you can reflect on your visit and interaction with him. Don鈥檛 feel pressured.

You all have been so helpful. What you write is truth whether someone is angry about it or not. Or whether someone believes it or not. He was married to a Moroccan woman for a few years they had a child and he divorced her. He got called into court for not paying child support and he was told he had to pay. Red Flag to me for something. He says he is done with Morocco. An interesting note there is a house that it is attached to parents house where his brother's wife lives with her 3 children. His brother too is in the military but says he is away in the Sahara for 6 months at a time. I wouldn't have believed him but I asked to see proof and I saw the wedding pictures in her hour with the birth book of the children and their records stating that his brother is her husband and the father of the children. Every country has it's issues, I was not saying America is better than other country. I love my country too with it faults as well as Morocco with what I have seen its's rich culture. You are right though he is slowly changing into becoming more controlling and manipulative. I am a single mom and there is somewhat of an age gap. He has loved bombed me obsessively. Yes something feels off but I thought it was cultural.
-@AUDREYMCI

Yes, you are correct all countries have their issues. Just go on the website of the American travels advisories and there is a huge notice of the probability of being scammed from the men and women. If it wasn't true they wouldn't give an advisories. I would definitely want to see proof of the divorce from the courts. It's very rare that they divorce. They are usually married to their 1st cousins, so it's a family thing and most won't allow the divorce through.聽 My bil is also stationed in the Sahara. He goes for 3 weeks and comes back for 2.聽 Its not culture, it's narcissistic traits. If he is controlling and manipulating you he is playing psychological warfare with you. Trying to break your sanity and cause mental health issues so he can get you to be his puppet.聽 Please follow your intuitiveness, it's trying to protect you

I feel like he is conditioning me to blindly trust him even when things are not making sense and to ignore this feeling I have. Then he has me in a position where I easier to be manipulated. I wanted to visit other cities but he said no just his city. For work I wanted to stay in a nice apartment he said no let him choose. When I try to talk or explain things he drowns me out so I have no voice. I see now how these tactics can make you lose your sense of self.
-@AUDREYMCI

You stay where you want to, I'm guessing he isn't paying. He is just looking for somewhere you can stay together as singles instead of having to stay in separate rooms. Omg everything you say about this man is narcissist 101. He's trying to manipulate you, he's disrespectful to your feelings and ideas. He's taking away your voice and confidence. And trust me they show a completely different personality in public so if you ask friends or relatives about him they will give you only positive about him. I only wish for you not to be sucked in. If you are marrying him because he is Muslim, you must know by now he doesn't practice if he is on the phone and in the cafe all day when does he pray? Why not an Arab from the USA? Or if you are looking specifically for a Muslim why not from the mosque? Just curious?

Im just trying to give you things to consider. You wouldn't meet a guy online and then go meet him one time for coffee and marry him would you? So why do women do this when it comes to these moroccan men? *Trust me im guilty. *They are smooth talkers. If you do decide to marry him, tell him you need a full set of wedding gold, a kaftan, 1 million dirhams dowry and see what he says. Or talk to a Moroccan lady of the young generation and ask what they got. I'm told most won't marry without a job, house, car, gold and a huge sum of cash. Another reason theybset their eyes on foreign women, well exceot a small dowry. I would also speak to his ex to find out why they aren't together anymore, this helped me find out that one gentleman who proposed was still married. Just be very careful, many have gone before you in the same situation seek them out. There are tons of Facebook groups that will tell you this screams sham marriage and narcissism. God be with you in your journey im near fes if ya get into trouble while your here.

@AUDREYMCI I think you know the answer to your own question and should trust your gut feeling!

@mpiovarcsikw ***

I won't be long winded here, but if a girlfriend told you this story and wanted advice..my guess is you would say RUN. If your gut is asking questions and feeling uneasy, your gut is telling you something, do listen and RUN!

Hello everyone,

Please note that we are closing this thread at the request of the Initial Poster.

It will be removed in a few hours.

Should you have any questions, feel free to open your own topic.

Regards

Bhavna

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